I hesitate to say Beth and I were in a relationship. But we were definitely not not in a relationship. The truth of how I felt about Beth was, she scared me. Like any cool chick, she smoked, drank, and swore a lot. She had a personality that made people want to be near her, even if they didn’t know her. I saw this unfold so many times, in every setting imaginable. Groups of people flocked to her, laughing as she told one vulgar story after another. The story she told most often was about how she made a “slut” lick her clit so long, the girl got nerve damage in her mouth. The best part was when she imitated the girl’s voice. She would snatch the nearest drink, take two big gulps, set the glass down, and began to talk like her jaw was broken, drooling from the corners of her mouth. I suspect the tale was exaggerated, but, I also wouldn’t be surprised if every word was true.
I liked that she wanted to be the center of attention. I didn’t mind standing in the background, observing. She was so sexy when she commanded a crowed. It also made me a little sad for her. She drew you in so she could control your position in her world. If she controlled the how, why, and when you got close than she knew where you were at all times. To everyone else she was an immeasurable force, but to me I saw her as fragile; ready to break. This is what scared me the most. It scared me that I saw things in here that others couldn’t see. Either I was much smarter than Beth, or she had sucked me in, showed me exactly what she wanted me to see, and now had me charted, categorized, and processed.
Don’t think this means I was submissive to her. I wasn’t. I’m a dominant guy. Every one of my relationships I’ve been the sexually assertive one. I’ve done the tying up, and the choking, and the slapping. Beth being a proper whore appreciated that in me, but she was the one who drove the car, if you know what I mean? If tonight she wanted to be bent over and taken I took her. If she wanted to squirt all over my face we did that. I had no desire to complain. How could I? She gave me things I couldn’t have gotten on my own. Without Beth molesting drunk sluts from the bar and telling them “You’re coming home with me. I hope you are ready to eat my pussy,” the elusive FFFM foursome would have probably never been moved from my fantasy section to my reality. Lucky for me, no one could ever say no to her aggressive, take no prisoners, I’m-the-alpha-cunt-here attitude.
A week days ago, I got a text from Beth: “OMG I’m so excited Michael is coming to visit. He’ll be here Thursday. I’ll probably want to hang out with him Thursday and Friday night, but I want you to meet him. Can we hang out on Saturday?”
“Jay!! Why aren’t you answering me?”
“Asshole, I know you check your phone every 10 seconds. Don’t you fucking ignore me.”
“Fine, whatever. Play your stupid text mind games, Jay. I decided we are hanging out. See you Saturday!!!”
For the record, she was right. I had been checking my phone. It was a good rule of thumb to always give into Beth, but never right away. This information will be important to keep in mind for later on in my recounting of events.
Saturday rolled around, and we went to our favorite dive bar. It was the kind of place where drunk people played pool on quarter operated tables. It was the kind of place where the bartender was ten years clean from an opiates addiction but still kept in contact with all his shady connections. It was the kind of place where the security guy sold coke in the bathroom. You know, a dive bar.
I took my usual role when out with Beth, sitting back, watching her operate. “So you have known her since high school?” I asked Michael while eyeing Beth miss hit a cue ball off the side of her cue stick, a cigarette held firmly between her lips.
“Yeah, she was pretty much the only person who talked to me back then,” Michael responded.
“I can see that. She is funny like that. She talks to everyone and still has a way of making you feel special.”
“Yup. That was Beth, then and now.”
Drinks flowed, shots were consumed. At some point Beth, Michael, and the security guy disappeared into the bathroom for a little over five minutes. At 1:45 they did last call. At 2:00 they stopped serving drinks. At 2:10 they stopped serving drinks to the regulars. At 2:30 they turned the lights up high and told people to leave. At 2:45 they demanded it. At 3:00AM, Michael, Beth and I, were all that was left. We were still sitting at the corner of the bar with three shots of Patrón, one in front of each of us. Hanging off of Michael’s shoulder, her words barely understandable, Beth said, “Oh my God, Michael it is so good to see you, please don’t leave tomorrow. Stay and let me be your beard, again. We will have so much fun together.”
“Honey, I don’t need a beard anymore. I have been out for years.”
The bartender caught my attention with a glare. I nodded at her and picked up my shot glass. “Come on let’s do this,” I said.
Beth grabbed my face and yanked us together. Her tongue swirled deep inside my mouth. When she was finished with me she pushed my wrist up. I choked down the shot; the warm liquid burned my throat, almost coming back up. Then she handed me her shot and said, “Here, drink this. I don’t think I have it in me to have another one.” I flinched, and I know she saw me flinch.
Whispering in my ear she said, “Please, babe. I want you to take me home and have drunk sloppy sex.” Her tongue slipped in my ear. “The kind of sex I can’t remember in the morning.” Her tongue went back in my ear as her hand found its way down between my legs, rubbing my cock through my jeans. “I want to wake up knowing I did a lot of bad things, not remembering what any of them were.”
After that, Michael and I cheersed each other before finishing off the last two shots. Even though I emptied my drink into my mouth I couldn’t swallow it all right away. Over the next thirty seconds, little by little, I got it all down, poisoning my stomach just enough for it to accept the abuse. I was relieved it would be over soon. My body was done.
Back at Beth’s place I sat in the recliner and Michael and Beth were on the couch. They were arguing about how gay Michael really was.
“Please you are not 100% gay. I bet you $50 that if my mouth was around your cock right now you would be rock hard.”
“Oh, hun. How many times are we going to have this conversation? I know you think you are some kind of cock sucking savant. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t care how good you are, a guy who has never even sucked a cock before in his entire life will be better than you.”
Beth looked to me, “Tell him. Tell him I am the best cock sucker you’ve ever had.”
Feeling the mixture of assorted liquids in my stomach, I swallowed hard before answering, “She is pretty good.”
Beth threw a pillow at me, “Pretty good? I’m better then pretty good. I’m the fucking best.”
“She’s the fucking best,” I agreed.
“I am sure she is,” Michael said crossing his arms and sarcastically sticking his nose in the air. “But, guys are better. End of story.”
Beth’s groaned and slapped her hand on her lap. Her pouty lips made my drunk mind want to defend her. “I am sure there’s truth to that, Mike. But no girl has ever been close to making me enjoy a hand job. Beth is really good at it. Her talents go way beyond cock and ball handling. It’s like she’s inside my head, knowing exactly what I want.”
A huge smile appeared on Beth’s face, before she drunkenly shoved Michael, “You hear that? My talents go beyond the handling of your man bits.”
Looking at me, Michael gave encouragement, “Do tell.”
“Yes. Do tell.” Beth got on board.
I tried to think how I could explain it. I am not sure my drunk mind actually said what I wanted to, but this is what I tried to say. “For me it’s her filthy mouth. Like the things she says could make me stay hard watching a giant zit pop. She sucks and strokes, and then pulls off. She keeps her hand on my cock, pumping up and down, and this is when she says the nastiest things.”
“I don’t even know. The craziest shit you’ve heard. Some of it isn’t even sexy. It’s shocking. It feels like ice cubes on my balls. Like, I don’t know. I remember once, out of nowhere she said, ‘I love sucking your cock so much I could use your pubes as dental floss,’ or ‘I want you to cum down the back of my throat so when I am having my morning coffee I burp up some of your sperm, getting to swallow your little guys all over again.”
Michael laughed. “Sounds like Beth.”
“And it isn’t even sexy, like I said. But you are stuck there, thinking about the craziness that came out of her mouth. By then she has already dove back down onto my cock. My mind is like, what? What was that? Pubes for floss? Burp up my sperm? While I’m trying to figure it out, I don’t even realize my balls are growing; my cock is throbbing in her mouth. It isn’t dirty talk. It’s a dirty trick, like she’s distracting me so she can steal my cum. I don’t know. Maybe I am too drunk to make sense. That’s what her blow jobs are like.”
I was looking off and away that whole time I told the story. When I brought my attention back to Michael and Beth, Michael’s fly was unzipped and Beth’s hand stroked his hard cock. Michael looked directly into me when she lowered her head and wrapped her mouth around him. “Tell me what else she says.”
“Um… ah, I don’t know. She knows how much I love really rough sex with another girl, so a lot of times she pulls off of me and says, ‘I want to go out tomorrow night and find a whore for you to throat fuck.’ She might say something like, ‘I want you to abuse the fuck out of her mouth while force her down further.”
Michael rested his hand on the back of Beth’s head and smiled at me. I nodded and nervously looked around. This wasn’t the first time I had watched Beth blow a man in front of me. Fuck, I had even seen her blow one man while jerking off two others. I found it hot watching her be her dirty, slutty self. But here and now, for the first time in over a year of seeing one another, after having countless group sex situations, I wanted to be somewhere else. Beth glanced over at me, her tongue teasing Michael’s head. Maybe she could hear my thoughts, I don’t know. I wouldn’t put it past her. But at that moment, the moment I wanted to leave, she pulled off of Michael’s cock and said, “What the fuck are you doing? Why aren’t you playing with my cunt? Get the fuck over here.”
Beth’s pussy was wet, which wasn’t a surprise. She went to bed wet and woke up even wetter. What surprised me was the amount of wetness. I had never touched her pussy before and felt actual juices dripping out of her. I think even in that moment, as drunk as I was, I guessed that maybe she has had a crush on Michael her whole life and always fantasized about turning him straight, or something. It seems like every girl I know has some kind of story about how they almost turned a gay guy straight. Maybe this had been building up so long in her mind it made her more turned on than she had ever been in her entire life.
I was very drunk and very naive.
Beth switched her attention to me, sitting up, licking her lips while her hand stroked Michael. “His cock tasted so fucking good, babe.”
“Oh yeah. Kiss me. Taste his cock on my lips.” And again this was not unusual. I had kissed Beth at least a few times, right after she had another man’s cock in her mouth. She had never said anything like that to me, but that was the thing about Beth. She rarely said the same thing twice, always looking for new ways to shock people. We kissed. Unless Michael’s cock tasted like liquor and cigarettes I didn’t notice anything.
Beth pulled away and leaned back on the couch, one hand rubbing my cock, and her other hand stroking Michael. This was the first time I really looked at him, I mean looked at his cock. Michael was thin and fit. I wouldn’t say he was in shape. He was kind of a frail. But he had this long thick smooth cock, not a speck of hair on him, veins prominently streaking along his shaft. I saw precum on the tip, flexing and receding with each of Beth’s strokes. I was kind of mesmerized by it, its shape and thickness, how straight it looked. How his head was a little disproportionate to the rest of his cock. I wasn’t too drunk to hear Beth say to Michael, “I want you to taste your Cock on Jay’s mouth.”
This is important, because I don’t want to make it seem like I am not taking ownership of what happened from here on out. I was aware. Everything was my choice. But at least right then, I was still processing what came out of Beth’s mouth, reminiscent of so many blow jobs she had given me, when Michael’s hand was on my face, stroking my soft, full beard. He leaned across Beth and pressed his lips to mine and for a second it felt no different than kissing a girl. His lips were soft, and he was being gentle. And that was good. I think if in that moment he felt like a man to me I would have stopped. I think I would have pushed him away. But he went on stroking my beard and kissing me.
After a while Beth took my hand and dragged it to her pussy, guiding my fingers inside of her, taking control of my body. When my fingers were coated with her cum she lifted my hand to her lips, licking her wetness off of me. It wasn’t until she took my hand and put it on Michael’s face, I couldn’t avoid the fact I was really kissing a man. Even though he was clean shaven with a baby face, I felt the roughness that comes from thick, coarse hair, under the surface. By then it was too late. Michael and I had been kissing for the better part of five minutes, my eyes closed, Beth watching and rubbing her clit.
“Fuck this is so hot,” Beth moaned. “Babe, hold his face with both hands. Make it really passionate. That’s it. Show me your tongues touching. Fuck, more! Give me more of that. Don’t you love how his beard feels, Michael? That is my favorite part of kissing him.”
Michael cradled the back of my head, and eased my lips down to his neck, before saying, “I love beards. Bears or my favorite type of men.”
Now kissing Michael’s neck, his sweet, crisp cologne filled my nose. Smells have a way of making me lose myself, and not pay attention to what is going on around me. Vanilla is a smell like that. If I smell a vanilla candle or cooking with vanilla, I kind of vanish in the moment, lost to the smell. Michael’s cologne was unfamiliar to me, but it saved me. It helped me through what was to come. Even though I was kissing him, and for the first time I could feel a large hand stroking my half-hard cock, I wasn’t bi. I had never fantasized about being with a man, and until that night, I had never even come close. With all the group sex Beth and I were involved in, no man had ever kissed me, no man had ever touched my cock. I mean, once my balls were slapping against another man’s balls as I fucked Beth’s ass and she rode his cock, but that was it. Nothing. No gay stuff ever.
Beth’s fingers ran through my hair, and latched on. She tugged me off of Michael’s neck, dragging me to her lips. In a really convoluted way of thinking it was starting to all feel OK. Michael’s cock had been in Beth’s mouth. Beth’s mouth had been on my mouth. My mouth had been on Michael’s mouth. My fingers had been in Beth’s cunt. Beth’s mouth had been around my fingers. Now that I was kissing Beth again, her juices mixing with my saliva, to keep the connection going I had to kiss Michael, again. I broke away from Beth’s lips and grabbed Michael, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck, dragging him to me. I slipped my tongue past his lips and into his soft warm mouth.
“That’s it baby. Kiss him. Doesn’t it feel so good? Isn’t he so hot? Show him how sexy he is with your mouth. Make him feel how passionate you are. That’s it. Fuck, this is amazing. I am so turned on right now. Keep going baby. Keep making him happy with your mouth.”
Beth’s fingers were back in my hair, and I already knew where this was going. I knew I couldn’t stop it. She applied pressure to the back of my head, and I gave a little, dropping back down to Michael’s neck. I kissed him up and down, from his shoulder to his ear, breathing in every drop of him, letting his cologne take me somewhere else. Pushing me lower, I tried to resist, wanting to stay where I was safe and where I could hide in my own thoughts. But, Beth was a force of nature. There was no stopping her. Ever.
“That’s it baby. Make Michael happy with your mouth. You can do it. Just open up and take his cock. It’s OK. Nothing bad is going to happen. Making him happy with your mouth will make me so fucking happy. You can do it for me. It’s OK.”
Staring into the abyss, or in this case, the head of Michael’s cock, I watched as he throbbed towards my lips. Beth pushed me down harder, but now I wasn’t budging. I was having second thoughts. I was having fifth and sixth thoughts. I know Beth so well. Better than she thinks I do. I knew exactly what was going through her mind at that exact moment. When it came to play, Beth was the most selfish, manipulative, sneaky person I knew. It didn’t matter to her how difficult all this was. She had fucked more women than men in her life, and she had been doing it since she was sixteen. I was thirty-eight; this was my first time. Beth had no way of empathizing with me. How could she? Being bi, or heteroflexible, or whatever, was something she had lived with for two thirds of her life. I had been living with it for about twenty minutes. And still I knew how badly she wanted to see me do suck Michael off. I wanted to give it to her. I really did. But, the two inches between my lips and Michael’s cock was an expanse so vast it might have been infinite.
“Babe, it is OK. You don’t have to do this. I understand. Just close your eyes and stay like this for a minute. Please, just for me. I want to look at you so close to Michael’s cock. Let me touch myself, and cum, and then that will be it.”
Unable to speak, I gave her the slightest nod in the history of mankind. It was so slight, I don’t know how she even noticed it. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she took my not moving as the answer she needed. But I wasn’t going to let my head get one millimeter closer to the thick cock head in front of me.
I could feel the couch shake, with Beth jackhammering her clit. “You two are like the hottest guys I have ever seen. I want to imprint this image in my mind forever. Fuck, baby. Please know how much I love you for doing this. Just like all those times you watched me go down on all those other girls. Do you remember how hot that was for you? Well this is every bit as hot for me. Please know that my body is going to be yours forever. Even though you can’t go down on him, this has easily been the hottest experience of my life. I’m glad we can do these things for each other. I give you so many threesomes and you do this”
Her hand raced back and forth over her clit and I was a statue. “You don’t have to get any closer babe. But can you just lick your lips a little. Like you are about to take him in your mouth? Just a little. Please. Oh my God, that will be so fucking hot.
I took a deep breath and licked my lips.
“Oh shit! I’m going to cum. Fuck! Keep licking your lips, babe. Don’t stop. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! You look like you want it so bad. Look at how sexy you are, getting ready to take that big fat cock in your mouth.”
Beth moaned a litany of obscenities, one after another as she came, but her hand never slowed down. Once the orgasm past, her hand continued to race back and forth across her clit. “Baby don’t move yet. This is so amazing. Keep licking your lips, let me cum once more. Please, my body is yours. I am going to find so many bitches to take home with us for you to fuck. I hope you are ready. My home is going to be slut central. I swear to god. And they will all be for you. Just keep licking your lips, and maybe, please – it would be so fucking hot – you don’t have to get any closer, but maybe wrap your hand around Michael’s cock.”
Beth stopped talking for a moment. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her kissing Michael. I saw her hand shooting across her glistening pussy. I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. Was it a big deal? It was another body part like any other? How different was it than shaking his hand? It felt entirely different but if I tricked my mind and told myself that if I was ok with my balls slapping against another man’s balls, I can touch Michael’s cock.
“You can do it, baby. All you have to do is wrap your hand around it. I am so close to cumming, anyway. I only need a few seconds of watching before I fucking explode. Besides, you know how sexy I think your hands are. I tell you all the time. I love pictures of you choking the shit out of me, and how the tendons in your dark hand flex the harder you squeeze. Please do this for me. Just for a second. That’s it.”
I slowly move my arm.
“Yes! It’s ok. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s just another body part. You grip men’s hands all the time when you greet them. You can do it.”
The contrast was striking. I had tunnel vision, zeroed in on my hand gripping Michael’s cock. The space around that image blurred into nothing, leaving only a large dark hand wrapped around a giant pale cock. Anyone seeing a picture of that moment would know there were two different men there. I took note of this because I felt like for some reason I was going to end up in court, that this would be the prosecution’s case against me. “Ladies and gentleman of the jury. You can clearly see this is not a photo of a man playing with himself. No, it is a photo of a man getting jerked off by a much darker skinned man.”
“Does is hand feel good?”
“Fuck yeah, it so does. It’s OK, Jay. You aren’t the first straight man to jerk me off. It feels really good. I love how rough your hands are. I can tell you work for a living. You are such a bear.”
Michael and Beth laugh.
“I love how timid he’s being right now. I want to wrap my arms around him and hold him. Jay, it’s OK. My cock isn’t made of porcelain. Grab it. Like, really fucking grab it. You don’t need to be gentle with me. That’s one thing Beth and I have in common. We both love to get abused.”
Michael and Beth laughed again and then went back to kissing, leaving me alone with Michael’s cock. One might think the weirdest thing for me was holding another man’s dick when I am completely straight. That wasn’t the case. Don’t get me wrong. That was really fucking weird. But the thing I couldn’t get past was the angle I was gripping it. I had been jerking off my entire adult life (and a huge chunk of my non adult life). I’m used to holding it from a certain angle. Having been totally familiar with the lay of the land when I viewed it from the north, from the southwest, I recognized nothing.
Michael spoke, “You can move your hand a little, don’t be shy. Doesn’t it feel weird to be holding it and not moving your hand?”
“Well, now that you pointed it out, it does,” I said, surprised I was able to speak. I wondered if I was getting more comfortable. I wondered if I even wanted to be more comfortable.
“Aww, poor baby.” Beth said, putting her hand back on my head, applying a hint of pressure. “It’s ok to stroke it. Please stroke it for me. Doesn’t it feel good to be able to keep Michael hard? All you have to do is move your hand a little, up and down, up, and down.”
I stroked Michael’s cock, watching my hand go up over his head, towing his foreskin, stretching it until the skin appeared glossy and smooth. Tightening my grip, my hand picked up speed. Michael pushed his body up towards me and I yanked up and down faster. When he pulled a way I slowed down, and then gradually worked him back up to speed. “See what I am saying, Beth? Men know what they’re doing.”
“Fuck I am so turned on right now. Keep stroking that cock, babe. Don’t stop.”
Beth pushed harder on the back of my neck forcing my lips down until they were pressed against Michael’s head. I could feel his precum on my lips, making every fiber in my body not want to open my mouth.
“I need you to know something, babe. I’m not saying this because I’m the most turned on I have been in my entire life. I’m saying this because I really feel it. I want you to know. I love you. Like, I really love you. I’m in love with you.”
And before that moment, I don’t think I knew. I felt it, but I tried to fight it. Beth wasn’t the kind of girl who could love. She was a force all her own. My choices were to take the ride with her or get off. But now that she told me she loved me, maybe I was wrong. Maybe, I misjudged her all this time. I felt deep inside of myself that I loved Beth back; that we were so good together; that I could do this for her; that I could go against everything I thought I was just to make her happy. If that wasn’t love, then what is it? I didn’t know. Overwhelmed with emotions, I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her, to say that I would do anything for her. But, before the words could get out, while they were rattling around inside my brain, firing off neurons into one another, rearranging what I once thought was impossible to possible, Beth pushed down hard on the back of my head with both hands, forcing Michael’s cock into my mouth.
“YES! FUCK! YES!” She screamed.
Her fingers in my hair, pushing and pulling my head up and down, I jerked Michael off while my mouth pumped his cock, my warm rough tongue sliding along his shaft. His body pushed and pulled with the suction of my mouth. The suction of my mouth pushed and pulled with the pressure of Beth’s hand. I finally saw what was happening. I finally understood. Beth knew she could never give Michael the best blow job of his life- not with her mouth. Where Michael’s sexuality fell on the spectrum made it impossible. But… she could give him the best blow job of his life with my mouth. That was what this was about all along. Knowing Beth, this was her plan before I drank the last shots at the bar, before the three of us headed out that night, fuck, maybe as soon as she found out Michael was coming to visit, Jesus Christ, maybe as early as the first day we met.
Michael’s dick pulsed inside my mouth. I felt the cum surging through his shaft against my fingers, and then against my lips. He moaned, and Beth pushed down as hard as she could. I had no fight left in me. So much had already been stripped away. Every notion I had about myself left the moment my chin pressed against Michael’s balls, at the moment I couldn’t breathe, at the moment my eyes watered, at the moment I gagged and felt the sting of stomach acid and tequila burn the lining of my esophagus. This was it. I had crossed a line there was no coming back from. I had never in my life dreamed I’d be a cocksucker. Cum shot down the back of my throat and dribbled from the corners of my mouth, dripping down my face and into my beard. Beth refused to let me up. She refused to let me off of Michael’s cock. If I’m being honest, I didn’t exactly give it my best effort to pull away. Beth came, screaming, “That’s it, bitch. Gag on his cock you fucking sissy slut!” squirting her juices into my eyes, mixing with Michael’s, causing me to wonder if maybe deep down I have always wanted to suck cock.