Blow Job

If I had been strong enough to stop time I would have looked at you forever, my rigid cracked fingers intertwined with your hair, and cherry blossoms falling from your eyes. Your mouth, so far down on my cock, pressed against the back of your throat: a faucet dripping in the bathroom, the air-conditioning hums, and every voice inside my head was replaced by a faint persistent tone. If I had been in a trench on the Western Front with German A7 Tanks firing shells into the earth, I might have accepted the vibrations of your tongue as bullets ripping through my flesh. The harder you sucked the more I recoiled from each new wound, falling back into mud and blood, the sun peering over the horizon of the French countryside.

When your hand reached up to fondle my balls, I shivered and gripped your hair, like a man recalling all his sins and asking for forgiveness. By now, winds had blown most of the cherry blossoms away, and the ones that remained wilted and wept into the soil. Winter approached in the form of your eyes, so blue they were white, freezing me into the permafrost.

The world thawed, resurrecting old grudges, but I can’t hold back. Your hand pumping my cock, lubricated by melting snow, you forced life back into my body, propping me up so I can live to fight one more day, fire one more bullet, kill one more solider. If I had the use of my hands I would wave a white flag and march with the enemy to a prison camp. But the chance for surrender passed; you had taken too much from me- no, I had given too much to you, and now you wanted the rest. My soul left through my urethra, rupturing into your mouth, and dripped down the back of your throat.

In a hole, men in army boots stepped over my body. I watched from the hills jutting out of the horizon as you licked your lips. Swallowing, you crawled up next to me; you whispered the words, “goodbye,” senseless, oblivious to the world around you, unable to hear the cries and screams of ghosts, I was condemned to purgatory. Having devoured my spirit, you nestled your head into my bloodied chest and fell asleep.