The First Time I Held a Knife to a Girl’s Throat: A Love Story

I bound the worthless dirty whore to my bed, striped her naked, and tied a blindfolded around her head. Then, I stuffed her panties in her fucking mouth, covering it with duct tape. “You must be the dumbest cunt I’ve ever met. How long have we been talking? Two days, maybe three? And now look at you. Tied to a stranger’s bed, gagged and blindfolded.”

Her body trembled and goose bumps appeared on her arms as the fan above swirled air around the room. Sitting beside her, as I brushed her long dark hair off her shoulders and behind her ears, I said, “You want to know why you should be afraid? It isn’t that I might hurt you. That’s a given at this point. What should be scaring you is the fact my motivations for all this is just curiosity.” I placed my hand to her chest. “I can feel your heart beating through your sternum. It’s perfect. It’s everything I hoped it would be. But, don’t have a heart attack on me. There’s so much left to do. Shh, you should try to calm down. Take deep breathes with me.” I inhale, puffing out my chest, and then pursing my lips as I audibly exhale. “Do it, take a deep breath with me. You’ll feel better.” Inhaling again, her chest risings under my hand, then lowering as I exhale. As if reading a bed time story to an innocent six-year old, I say, “I don’t need to think of you as less than human to hurt you. In fact, I like thinking about how you have friends, family, a job, a nice fulfilling life. I won’t feel guilt or remorse about taking all that away. Can you hear it in my voice? How little you matter to me?”

I closed my eyes while sliding the backs of my fingers along her body. It was almost as the sun’s rays gleamed atop my head in that dark room, in the middle of the night. “I hear it,” the hum of chanting monks or maybe just the heater kicking on. “They speak to me.” And with her muffled cries and the rapid clicking of the fan I pictured myself standing on a podium, in front of an orchestra waving a baton.

Before the night I tested out all different kinds of lamps and light bulbs, and repositioned them. I laid naked on the bed with different kinds of sheets. I tested various ropes to see how they felt on my wrist. I experimented with different fabrics for the blindfold. Most importantly, I tested every knife, touching them to my skin to try and imagine the sensations it would give.

The first one I tried out was the Kershaw 1670S30V Blur knife. It had a 7-7/8 inch stainless steel blade with a stone-washed finish and a SpeedSafe ambidextrous assisted opening system for easy 1-handed opening. The easy-grip Trac-Tec handle inserts made if feel comfortable in my large hand and protected from slipping in wet conditions. But it only weighed four ounces and while the blade was almost excessively long I wanted something… a little more ornate. Something that said I take pride in hurting you. The Kershaw Cryo Knife looked like a robot had given birth to it. The blade had a titanium carbo-nitrate coating that matched the handle and the same Speed-Safe opening system as the Blur. However, the handle felt slick in my hand and the short 2-3/4 inch blade seemed inadequate when I held it up to my eyes. It was modern and sleek, but just didn’t feel like me. When I wrapped my hand around the resin impregnated rosewood handle of the Buck 193 Alpha Hunter, Gut hook Fixed Blade Knife I knew I had found the one I wanted. The 3-3/4 inch blade was made of Sandvik steel and featured a gut hook on the dull side. It came with a brown leather sheath which I held up to my ear and listened over and over again to the sound the knife made as I pulled it out. I could smell the leather on the blade with a hint of sweetness from the rosewood. It effortlessly shaved the hair off my forearm as I ran it across my skin.

I held the leather sheath to the slut’s ear as I pulled the blade out. Then, gliding along her shoulder down to her breasts, I skimmed the tip of the blade across her skin to her breasts. As soon as she felt the cool Sandvik steel she yanked hard on the ropes, trying to squirm away, her wrists inflamed and now bleeding. “Shhhh, you’re right to be scared. You’re right to want to get away. But you can’t. You aren’t in control here. Let go and accept everything that’s going to happen.” I continued to glide the tip of the blade over the whore’s stomach and along her thigh. “You belong to me now. And there is nothing you have to worry about anymore.”

Whimpers from the piece of trash grew quiet and then disappeared. He breathing slowed and her body sunk deeper into the bed. “That’s it, feel yourself letting go. You don’t need to trust me. You just need to trust that you’re powerless.”

I parted the dumb cunts lips with the resin impregnated handle of the knife and move it in and out of her. At first It stuttered along the dry walls her pussy but as she grew wetter the knife slid all the way in, up to the blade. “That’s it. I can put anything in a whore’s pussy and it’ll get wet.”

Even though she couldn’t see me I flashed my teeth as I spoke, forcing the sting of my words down her fucking throat. But, she didn’t quiver; she didn’t cry, her body moving towards the knife inside her cunt. I yanked the tape off her mouth and she coughed out her panties, begging, “Please don’t hurt me. Please let me go. I’ll do whatever you want just please let me go when you’re done.”

“Shhhh,” I responded while touching her face. “If you do exactly what I say you’ll get out of this just fine. Why don’t you show me how good you’re going to be by obeying? Open your mouth.”

The tied up little cunt opened her mouth just a little and turned her head away. “No! Wider!” I barked. “That’s it you stupid whore. Now act like you are sucking a cock… No, a bigger cock… There you go. Wrap your mouth around that dick. Move your head up and down. That’s a good girl.”

I eased the handle of the knife into the whore’s mouth as she wrapped her lips around it, tasting her juices coating the rosewood. Pushing deeper down her throat she raised her head to take more. *Look at this fucking whore,* I thought. I’m taking everything from her. At that moment, in her mind she was praying to God, bargaining with him, “I’ll do anything if you let me out of this situation. I’ll stop doing drugs and drinking. I’ll be a better mother. I’ll be a better daughter.” But what she hadn’t realized yet was God can’t hear her prayers when the handle of a knife is shoved down her throat. I was the only one who could, and I was the only one who could answer them, too. *Fuck this worthless piece of shit.* Even if I decided to let her go every man after me would have to hold his nose for the stench I left on her, they’ll have to hold her hand and listen to her cry.

It is then I realized I had cut her bottom lip, blood trickling down from her chin to her breasts. I watched as the droplets pooled on her chest; a shimmering red on white-sand skin, smelling iron and copper, bound with the amino acids, detachable from miles away in a vast ocean, revealing my gills and three layers of flesh and bone annihilating teeth.

I unbuckled my belt and push my pants down just enough to be able to pull my hard cock out. Climbing of top of the dumb slut, I pushed her blindfold off her eyes and grunt, “Look at me, cunt.” She struggled to turn her head towards me so I pressed the knife to her throat and grunted again with more force, “I said, fucking look at me!” Her eyes were bloodshot and tears accumulated in the corners. Reaching between her legs I griped my cock and pushed it into her wet pussy. As soon was inside of her, sobs shrieked out. I licked her face where the tears streamed across her cheek and I licked the blood off her chin.

“You feel that? Do you feel me inside of you? Think about what I’m taking from you. I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me like you’re in love with me. I want you to kiss me like you’d rather be dead than without me. Make me believe it,” I said as I moved my cock in and out of her. Until that moment I had no idea I was going to demand she kissed me. I had no idea I wanted it. Up till now it had just been a fun game to me but when I removed the blind fold, and saw her yes, I could see myself engraving my imagine into her retinas. That from this day forward I would be the only face she ever sees. “If it doesn’t come across as real then I’m not sure what I’ll do. You understand me? If you don’t make me believe you love me than my feelings will be hurt.”

The girl underneath me took a deep breath and whispered, “I need to be able to touch you to give you what you want.” I ceased pushing my hips into her and watched carefully. Her pupils were dilated to the point her eyes were black with a thin rim of green around them. It was the first time I had heard her voice not through her screams and cries. “I know you are in control,” she whispered. “This isn’t a trick. I need my hands to give you what you want.”

So, I cut the rope around her wrists, careful not to scratch her, and then pressed the knife back to her throat. When the metal touched her skin she swallowed hard, again, before reaching up to my face with both hands. Her warm little fingers glided across my cheek pulling me closer to her lips. “I don’t need to act,” she whispered before pressing her lips to mine. Pulling away, she continued, “I do love you,” tears poured out of her eyes. Her mouth opens and for a moment I thought maybe this was real. Maybe all this time I thought I needed to hurt her and threaten her to get what I wanted when she genuinely wanted to give it to me. I felt her tongue inside my mouth while our eyes locked. I felt her pussy getting tighter around my cock as I eased in and out. “You see,” she said. “Can you feel that? I fucking love you.” And she pulled me back to her lips and kissed me, her mouth opening wide and our tongues swirling around. And I didn’t realize it at first but now I was crying, too. I rested my head on her shoulder and she petted the back of my neck, “Shhh, its ok. I love you.”

When I heard those words my cock convulsed and that was followed by moans and heavy breathing and more tears. I drained my cum inside still unable to hold back the torrent of emotions. “Shhh, that’s it cum inside of me. Kiss me. Let me show you how much I love you.” When or lips touched every possibility and motive flooded my mind. Maybe something changed in both of us. Maybe I found the one girl who needed this as much as I did. I wanted to believe that more than anything. But I could never know for sure. The knife was still against her throat and I needed to decide what happened next. But for now, for just a few more moments, I want to lay there, still inside of her as we kissed. For right now regardless of what I decided to do, regardless how this ended for her, I need to believe we were in love.